Beautiful Love........
is really an art,
a painting in the making.
Each stroke....once put in
can't be wiped away,
It can be embellished upon
it is here to stay.
In the creating of this work
we must focus our intents,
our desires......visioning
the outcome.
What are we willing
to put into this painting,
how much of ourselves
to give away....
how much to keep,
for it is in that giving,
that we gain.....
And our painting
can be made complete.
Kay Elaine Ekwall
copyright l999
There are some people who never do understand what the word 'relationship' even means, for their whole lives. They take and they take and expect the world and everyone to revolve around them and their needs, their hopes, their dreams and are just not capable of being in a relationship with others, let alone with themselves.
Your experience of close relationship will probably be
extremely important in discovering WHO you are. In close relationship each
partner can serve as a mirror to the other so that ego, games, and manipulations
can be unveiled. If there is clarity of mind, willingness to learn,
honesty, and compassion, relationship can help you sort out and let go of the
plots and ploys you've learned and refined. Of course, without clarity,
when ego is running the show, it's nearly impossible to learn quickly and
change. Rather, there is a resistance to change that usually results in
abuse and suffering. Frequently, divorce will not change the way
people live and love. They will fall back into the same choices and
patterns that destroyed their previous relationships. Counseling may or
may not help depending on the level of awareness of the counselor and the degree
to which the principals agree to be honest and ready to look at their own
patterns and manipulations.
People often prefer to share their life with another for a
variety of reasons. A frequently voiced reason is that they are looking
for their other "half" as though another person will complete them,
that the other will fill a void in them. This can be expressed in a
"mathematical" expression: 1/2 x 1/2 = 1/4. Wholeness
cannot come from two incomplete people joining in a partnership.
Often the outcome is disastrous. Of course, if one is abusive and the
other is committed to playing victim there will be a modicum of satisfaction in
that they help each other play out their roles. If they get along
well they still might not help each other move to clarity and
wholeness. That's OK, too. There is no right or wrong. Just
experience. Sooner or later they'll get the picture and change themselves
and/or changes their partners. One clue is if a person has had many marriages, or many marriages and relationships and none 'stuck'. If a person jumps from one to the next, to the next, then they clearly don't have the skills necessary to form and keep a long term partner. These things have to be considered as an important personality trait when one is getting involved or even thinking of getting involved with a new partner.
In his book "I Am" Michael Grinder states that all relationships are really about the relationship with yourself, while the journey seems to be outside, it is an inner one. I have observed that the older a person gets, the harder it is, because not so much that they are 'set in their ways', but they have spent many years forming their personalities, finding their likes and dislikes and are in their comfort zones. Most people are not as flexible as they get older and have a hard time even wanting to change, wanting others to just 'accept them as they are', even willing to live alone for the rest of their lives so they don't have to grow and adapt.
The Designs of Love
Woven in my blanket of love
your heart .....the worf
mine.....the woof
Tenderness is the shuttle
guiding, so gently.....
Steadfastly intermingling
your patterns with mine.
Each step within the weave
so carefully planned...
Even we........don't know
the outcome of our design..
We watch and wait...patiently,
the plan to unfold.
Twenty Special Secrets ~ Vernon Howard ~
this coming from a man, comments under from a woman
He) 1. When two people meet, the prize always goes to the one
with the most self-insight. He/she will be calmer, more confident, more at
ease with the other.
She) Or the more calm
one is the one who is living in their own delusion or make believe world
of what they think the relationship is all about. This person could be
cold and have no heart or no commitment to the relationship at all. There
are many personality types that psychiatrists have names for who hold
themselves aloft and above human emotions and think that they are better
then others.
2. Never permit the behavior of other people to tell you how to feel.
She) The behavior of
other people towards you will give you a clue of what you have drawn to
you in your life, if it pushes a button, you may need to look inside. But
your reactions when they hit the gut feelings inside of you may be warning
you to be aware of this person and their way of dealing with
relationships.
3. Pay little attention to what people say or do. Instead, try to see
their innermost motive for speaking and acting. (Now, apply this very same
rule to yourself and you become an enlightened person!)
4. Any friendship requiring the submission of your original nature and
dignity to another person is all wrong.
5. Mystically speaking, there is no difference between you and another
person. This is why we cannot hurt another without hurting ourselves, nor
help another without helping ourselves.
6. When we are free of all unnecessary desires toward other people, we can
never be deceived or hurt.
7. You take a giant step toward psychological maturity when you refuse to
angrily defend yourself against unjust slander. For one thing, resistance
disturbs your own peace of mind.
8. You understand others to the exact degree that you really understand
yourself. Work for more self-knowledge.
9. Do not be afraid to fully experience everything that happens to you in
your human relations, especially the pains and disappointments. Do this,
and everything becomes clear at last.
10. The individual who really knows what it means to love has no anxiety
when his love is unseen and rejected.
11. If you painfully lose a valuable friend, do not rush out at once for a
replacement. Such action prevents you from examining your heartache and
breaking free of it.
12. Do not be afraid to be a nobody in the social world. This is a deeper
and richer truth than appears on the surface
13. Every unpleasant experience with another person is an opportunity to
see people as they are, not as we mistakenly idealize them. The more
unpleasant the other person is, the more he can teach you.
14. You can be so wonderfully free from a sense of injury and injustice
that you are surprised when you hear others complain of them.
15. We cannot recognize a virtue in another person that we do not possess
in ourselves. It takes a truly loving and patient person to recognize
those virtues in another.
16. Do not mistake desire for love. Desire leaves home in a frantic search
for one gratification after another. Love is at home with itself.
17. There are parts of you that want the loving life and parts that do
not. Place yourself on the side of your positive forces; do all you can to
aid and encourage them.
18. You must stop living so timidly, from fixed fears of what others will
think of you and of what you will think of yourself.
19. Do not contrive to be a loving person; work to be a real person. Being
real is being loving.
20. The greatest love you could ever offer to another is to so transform
your inner life that others are attracted to your genuine example of
goodness. "
"What is it I see in you that I cannot seem to accept about myself?"
This is a crazy world. What can be done? Amazingly, we have been mislead. We have been taught that
we can control government by voting. The founder of the Rothschild dynasty, Mayer Amschel Bauer,
told the secret of controlling the government of a nation over 200 years ago. He said, "Permit me
to issue and control the money of a nation and I care not who makes its laws." Get the picture?
Your freedom hinges first on the nation's banks and money system. Freedom is connected with Debt Elimination for each individual. Not only does
this end personal debt, it places the people first in line as creditors to the National Debt ahead
of the banks. They don't wish for you to know this. It has to do with recognizing WHO you really
are in A
New Beginning: A Practical Course in Miracles, an informational study.
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